The Decline of the Friendly Wave
Growing up in Indiana, there were a number of local customs - from picking apples in the Fall to attending the State Fair (not my favorite) to Little 500/Grand Prix. But one thing I always appreciated was the friendliness of neighbors, particularly the “good morning wave.” Whether you knew someone or not, there was an unspoken credo that you waved hello if passing by in the wee hours of the morning morning while walking the dog, on a run, or driving by as they picked up the newspaper at the end of the driveway.
Plenty of data exists to show that social media, the pandemic, and even remote work have made us a less happy and more lonely planet. Over the past few weeks, I’ve spent time in California, Arizona, Indiana, and New York and run a bit of an unscientific experiment: is the morning wave still en vogue? Here are a few, very generalized findings:
The more populated the region, the less likely it seems you’ll have your wave reciprocated. New York, Los Angeles, and San Franciso all were not especially responsive.
The more remote you are, the more likely you’ll get a response. There was always return enthusiasm when on a trail in the mountains or cycling on a country road.
Two individuals doing different activities (eg: one running, another taking out the trash) were seemingly more likely to wave to each other than people doing the same thing.
The point of this isn’t to say that waving is worth studying ad nauseum, but rather that we as a society seem to be slowly becoming less connected and less friendly. Ideological divides and their associated rhetoric seem to be causing us to be less willing to engage in thoughtful debate.
We’re facing feels like a swelling number of generational challenges all at once:
Domestic Economic Policy
Climate Change
Gender Equality
Foreign Policy
Education
And the list goes on…
If we’re going to tackle any of these problems, we need to be willing to engage in constructive debate with people that may hold different views. My proposal: get uncomfortable. Next time you find yourself seething in anger at someone’s view, engage and ask questions. Try to understand their perspective. Then share yours. This is the way…